Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
