I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
