so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
