how can u be prego again
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Randomize
