Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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