I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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