hotel room ftw
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize