What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
