this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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