Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
