Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
