Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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