I hate your face
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
In America we eat man semen.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
