Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
