she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
