is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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