how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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