I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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