Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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