Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
