3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
