I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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