the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
