Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
