you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
