Those balls look pretty dangerous.
two words: eviction party
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
