I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize