WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
And then my night got REAL pukey
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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