What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
