lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
