What did we do last night that was yellow?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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