I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
