You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
