she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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