last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
