My room smells like vodka and shame
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
