And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
