If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
