Fine. I'll sleep in my office
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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