I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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