I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
