new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
