Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
