his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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