another moral hangover. fuck.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize