Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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