After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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