he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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