It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
im on a boat
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