youre lurking in front of me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
