I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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