She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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