just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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