You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Randomize
