Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
