Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I could fuck to npr.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
