This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
