Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
