guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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