We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
