So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
