"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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