I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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