You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
