my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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